Friday, 22 May 2015

Thank you ....xx

Ive realised and had it on my mind that it has been over a year since I blogged - so much has happened, some trivial but memorable some large and you just want to forget.

Quite a few of my followers have said they miss me blogging - that is so nice and very encouraging - if only one had said it, it would have been encouraging but a few was priceless - so deepest thanks for this.

So I start my blogging again with lot of Thank You's, not about crafting but a door opening experience .....

For many months Ive been lucky enough to have been included in Mindfulness, Relaxation and Sleep Webinars run by Changing Minds (part of NHS) - maybe blog about that more another day - this was all leading up to my Graded Exposure which I am undertaking at the moment, a chance to try and get rid of this awful agoraphobia that keeps little old me indoors away from family, friends, socialising and just generally living normally (oh and dont forget shops!)

I had my first graded exposure session last week, which went reasonably well, a great man came round and started the process - its heavy going, tiring and intense but am determined to try and kick it this time.

Anyway prior to this arrangement, it has always been my thought that I needed to get to my  new town library (havent ventured to the library for probably 5 years and we now have a new one)

so ..........
A huge thank you .........

Lisa Lynch (breast cancer patient and author of The C Word who sadly died) got me out of the door, M C Beaton (Agatha Raisin author) got me in the car and down the road, the promise of a potential crochet or knitting book got me further than the entrance to the library.

and last but not least my ever patient, long suffering, everso loving husband, who puts up with my quirky ways, the tears and the strops for taking me - Im not sure if anyone else would understand what its like to be in a place, not your home - we smiled, we laughed, we talked - an hour and a half of different.

So much has changed since I last went out a new council office, housing the new library (which is great by the way), more development taking place - I had sensory overload lots of cars, drilling, noise etc all really strange when you are used to the peace and quiet of our house and street.  The trip didnt go without anxiety, panic attacks and worrying thoughts BUT i survived (and so did hubby :) !!!) 

Im loving the books and has re-ignited my passion for reading, Im pleased I got to the library and loved the fact that I spent time with hubby xxxx

So my exposure therapy continues, my "man" who counsels me was pleased if not a little worried that the trip was a little extreme to try but I think pleased - its small, gentle steps that (according to him) will hopefully rid me of my "little gremlin" for good.

Daily I have to go out - ON MY OWN EEEEEKKKKK - to the corner of my road and keep doing it - then  progressing to a little further and so on - lord alone knows what the neighbours think to the mad lady who goes to the post box twice a day hee hee or when they see me at a lamp post or tree with my therapist who they know is not my husband ..... im sure their mind boggles but do you know what I dont care !!!

If you see a person opening the door and pearing out, walking just down their path, maybe only a little way from their home I hope you will smile and think good for them, maybe its the first time out in days, months or even years 

Thanks again for your kind comments and the fact you missed me 
Hopefully Im back now, I think a knitting update will be next